ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
