my vag is so smooth its legendary
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
