Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Be still, my beating vagina.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
