Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
