No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
