Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
P.S. I can't hear my feet
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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