During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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