You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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