There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
