The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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