bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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