how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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