Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
