Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
