maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
