just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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