he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
