Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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