There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize