I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize