btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just want to make out with him forever
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
