So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Randomize
