and my herpes radar will keep us safe
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
