Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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