are you still at the devil's house?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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