She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
