Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
