Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
