Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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