Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
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Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
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Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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