Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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