There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
