woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
