i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
