is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
