I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
