try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There r osticjed everywhere
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
