She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
