You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Bring me that man meat
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
