my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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