am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize