I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize