Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
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I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
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Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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