So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
