I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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