i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
