i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
These tits shall not be calmed
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
