sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
