Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
