Sry I called you an 8
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
