quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
