literally had 100 drinks last night.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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