You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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