I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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