I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize