Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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