we have pet lesbian snakes
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
